What We Do In The Shadows: Guillermo’s Season To Shine

Nandor’s familiar went early 00s, Hugh Jackman, on a room full of bloodsuckers. Now he has  to pay the price in season three of FX’s dark comedy “What We Do In The Shadows.”

It’s been a month since vampire caretaker Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) brought that war to the front door of the head vampires. His crew is still scratching their heads over whether to hand him over to the council or stick by his side since he is the only one capable of defending them for offing the Baron. 

The new season packs just as much of a comedic punch as the previous two. With Nandor actually defending his familiar against Laszlo, Nadja and Nadja’s doll, who are all too ready to toss Guillermo under the rapidly approaching bus. Meanwhile, Guillermo is “in prison” while pleading his case to the vampires about letting him be their protector. Despite his newfound vampire hunting power, he still wishes to cover their undead asses after 10 years of thankless caretaking. It’s tragic but relatable the way Guillermo continues to defend the vampires for a pinch of recognition. Thanks to him taking out their competition, they rise to become the new Vampiric Council for The Eastern Seaboard. So everyone’s levelling up, but will it be enough to keep them together?

Episode 2 of What We Do In The Shadows sees Nandor attempting to date a human at the gym he frequents but is entirely too shy. So he has Laszlo, Colin, and Guillermo assume his identity using the Cloak of Duplication, with disastrous results. Kaayvn Novak puts on an acting clinic, perfectly embodying the three personalities trying and failing horribly to seduce this woman who is literally just trying to do her job, guys. Finally, we get more insight into Guillermo’s feelings about Nandor, ironically as Guillermo is pretending to be Nandor. Strangely, it was like Guillermo and Nandor were one in this episode, something Guillermo has been working towards for a whole decade. But like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill, pretty soon it’ll be time for the rock to come rolling back down, and this time it comes in the form of Nandor’s old flame Gail.

Gail is Nandor’s karma in a middle-aged woman. She comes back into Nandor’s life whenever she needs a break from her reality. Gail walks in, and Nandor is emotionally defenceless. He openly professes his undying love for Gail, planning to turn her into a vampire so they can be together forever. Naturally, Guillermo is less than thrilled. After all, he’s done for Nandor, all he can do is sit and make pained faces at the documenters as Nandor gives Gail all the affection he feels like he deserves. The lack of self-awareness Nandor continues to display never fails to disappoint, but it’s hilarious watching him make the same mistakes all over again.

In the casino episode, the vampires do their best to try and get Guillermo to open up to them. It’s just like the awkward family dinner scene in every holiday special, only with bloodsucking creatures of the night. Guillermo, gobsmacked that they care, begins to reveal something personal about his childhood when he is rudely interrupted. The G-Man likes dudes. Nandor, specifically. We been knew. But seeing that he felt comfortable enough to share his sexual identity with them tugs at your heartstrings. Guillermo is stepping into his full self and looks damn good doing it. This episode shows how the vampires are lost without him as he is forced to go on a journey to bring them some sacred dirt. If he ever goes to therapy and decides to leave these punks, I’d definitely watch a Guillermo Travel Blog. His smile is so warm and inviting.

Season 3 of What We Do In The Shadows is shaping up to be another banger. I can’t wait to see Guillermo staking more vampires like roti meat. And he needs to find a man that loves and cares for him. I see a lot of myself in Guillermo. But he needs to hop on Vampire Grindr or something. Vamp’d? Glamr’d?

Get your swerve on GiGi; there are tons of long-fanged zaddies out there ready to suck you up. Or just like…kill them all and be free. You’re very good at it.

Watch “What We Do In The Shadows” On FX and Hulu.